To Love

Dear CR,

Where to start??? Well this past weekend, me and my girlfriend broke up. Until tonight, it did not really hit me that we had broken up. I tried to keep myself busy this weekend to keep my mind off of it, for a while I thought I was ok, but tonight on the phone with her, I just broke down. It was weird, I have cried in front of her more times than I care to remember, but this time I really did not want to. I tried to hold it back and I really did not want her to hear me cry. I want her to be able to move on as easily as possible and not to feel bad for me because I have no idea when I will be ok to move on, honestly I am still just as much in love with her, the only difference now, being that she is not my girlfriend anymore...kind of a big difference huh? It is not like I am just devastated and crying every day wondering why? why? why? but at the same time, it is kind of hard for me to accept that it really is over. She is my first...everything. My first true love, something that I have always wanted to be able to say, that I am in love with this person. I have always taken pride in my ability, my capacity to love. I have a big heart and I love using it to show people that I care...but I love using it to love someone the most. The thing is, I loved her...I still love her...and I know that in one way or another, I will always love that girl. I really hope that we can manage to stay close because she has made such an impact on my life, and is so special to me; you only get a handful of people that mean that much to you in your life, so I definitely do not want to lose that kind of person. Right now, I am so lost, confused, sad, hurt...its like as if my heart is a steel cage for a bunch of juiced up emotions all too big to fit into the cage, and they are fighting for control...yea pretty hectic. Time is my friend here, and I just have to take it day by day and hope that I can find peace within myself over this matter. I am hurting inside, but with every hurt comes healing and strength, I am down right now but I will be ok someday so I am not worrying too much :)

To love, David

If you felt it, then it was true. Getting hurt doesn't always mean you suffered, it means you loved sincerely. Don't frown because it's over, smile because it happened. -Me