808s and Heartbreak

Dear CR,

Kanye West, wrote the album 808s and Heartbreak, saying it was inspired from "love, loneliness and heartache", and that it was basically his journey through a very hard and down time in his life. I am not saying my emotions are close to what he felt, but in a small way, I can see what he meant or what he tried to say by writing those songs. The song "Streetlights" by Kanye West, is a really powerful song to me...it has always been my favorite song off of the album, but recently I have seen the song in a new light, and the meaning hits me...(look up the lyrics)

The first two verses are about him questioning himself and second-guessing his own feelings. To him, he feels like all these wonderful moments in his life came and went before he even had time to appreciate them. Dude is questioning whether it's normal to be this nostalgic, to think back on those moments, and whether he'll ever just live in the present and not think back on those moments that occurred. Dude's emotional, and he wants to just escape. He has all these emotional problems, and he just wants to be somewhere else, but as he sees these lights pass him by, he thinks of all these moments that escaped him before he had the chance to appreciate them. His "destination" is a truly happy life, but there are all these memories haunting him -- reminding him. He paid his fare -- he struggled and underwent a lot of pain, that was his payment. But he still has to deal with the pain of his past before he can be truly happy -- to arrive at his destination.Child-like, he ends with "life's just not fair." This is self-explanatory, and is something that all people can relate to.

When I was a kid, my catch phrase used to be "Life is good", I wish I could still say that, that I was still that innocent. As I realize more and more of my family problems, and problems that my future will bring, and the problems I have now, I sometimes get overwhelmed and want to yell that life is just not fair. Life throws shit at you from all sides at once, and learning how to deal with it all is still beyond me...I am looking for some stability in my life, but can't seem to find or discover even, what that could be to me. I am too scared and hurt to put it on another person right now...I do not know if I could take that. My walk with God is so weak... My family, well I have never been able to talk to them about problems. Although I am not really alone...I feel like it. There are people that are there for me, and are willing to reach out to me...but maybe I should start shutting out and protecting my heart...I have always reached out and left my heart open to anything and everything...I just don't know right now.


Streetlights- Kanye West